Alone

Alone. I f you do not open the door to yourself, who will! I mean who will. If you put a wall around your desires and true self, who can enter if you can not. People like genuine personalities. If you walk around with a ski mask over your face, people tend to be a little suspicious of you. Now you may have been told that it was not OK to be your true self. Maybe you were told that it was not OK to be your true self. Maybe they said you are a little too loud, too large, a bit too nerdish? Ha, Ha, we laugh at them ! Or more appropriately, we laugh with them. Like Cyrano, who can ridicule ourself's more than us. We have the most experience at it. Right! So the less we take too serious, the less we can be offended by or hurt from. So laugh at the mirror and say it is O.K. For any good artist throughout history has realized that through perseverance, his voice will be heard. Before the Coming of modern art, everything was academic portrayed in a realistic style handed down since the Renaissance. Only titles depicting historical or mythical events where to be hung next to portraitures. But with artists like Picasso, they created art for art sake. Granted I think most of it was not any good, but it opened the door for any art to be created that was genuine. Art that spoke through some one's own personal goggles. Art that translated the world through the individuals interpretation. Nothing new at this point can be truly created, but the perspectives and view points shaped by the individual and its environment and background can tell our story in new and exciting ways. Kind of like a visual railroad game, where one person passes on a secret through a chain of people and the story inevitable changes by the last person. See the Valenitians, a early Christian sect that sprang out of Gnosticism (knowledge through the self), believed in a God of the higher universe separate from ours. In this universe was several emancipation of cosmic behaviors. Of these was the emancipation of Wisdom, Sophia. In early Byzantine history they created a church named Hagia Sophia after her in Constanople, which is now Istanbul, Turkey. She felt distant and alone from the Supreme God. She took it upon herself to create a universe separate from the Plenitude she belonged to.

She had felt that her universe was a lineal one. So natural she thought she was the furthest from the Supreme God. Her perception of her state is much like Milton's interpolation of Lucifer in Paradise lost. Milton had felt the harshest punishment that could be afforded to Lucifer was to keep him the farthest away from the light of the one he loved, Jehovah. But all she had to do was realize everything in this universe and hers is circular. Now on a circle white and black are the closest and grey equal distant from them both. If she looked at things that way she would of realized that she was the closest to the supreme God than the rest of the emancipation or Aeons. Now in this lower universe created out of her despair awoke an entity. This entity seeing it to be the only thing around mistakenly thought he created all that was. Other entities like him appeared and like a chick to anything it first sees asked the first one if he was their creator. The first entity replied he was and was scolded immediately from above. Sophia called down upon him and said she preceded him. So Yahweh, Jehovah, began shaping order from chaos with the help of his other entities the angels. Now Sophia is trapped from her higher self and separate from her lower manifestation. Now the only thing separating her from the higher universe is herself. Now the Cabalalists believe that Yahweh, the god of the Old Testament, also is separate from the tree of life and only when mankind brings him back into the unity, at that at-one-ment (as Albedard would say.) the universes will be brought back into accord with itself. Now those Gnostics believed that Yahweh was the demiurge who brought all the fear and separation into the world that only one could protect himself from was through blind obedience. For them this was the true fall from grace in the Garden of Eden when man tasted the apple of choice.

"There is a wonderful story of the deity, of the self that said,' I am.' soon,
as it said ' I am.' it was afraid. It was an entity in time now. Then it
thought, ' What should I be afraid of, I am the only thing that is."
And as soon as he said that, it felt lonesome, and wished that there was
another, and so it felt desire. It swelled, split in two, became male and
female, and begot the world'
Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

Now in Herman Hesse's Stephen wolf we are confronted with a middle aged Bourgeois man who is quite disenfranchised from life. He tried the poet and artistic life of the academies, the merchant life of the store fronts, and played a little in love with a safe woman. Life has left him with the apathy one gets from doing what only one is told. Ever since he was a kid he had felt a spark of impulsiveness and creativity. But his parents called it the beast that one has to subside to become a proper member of society. So in later life he would let out his wolf a little so it could bare its teeth, but it was always told to step back into place. Guilt usually welled up in Harry Haller, our wolf, when he deviated from the social norm. He felt as if he was a divided person. Until he wandered into the back of the bar where they only played the jazz for the brave at heart. There he meets a woman who taught him to dance, to make love to many women, to drink, and throw away his sheep skin. He is eventually led down a series of adventures that lead him to the conclusion, from the help of a narcotic dealing trumpet player, that we are a composite of many personalities, and it is only when we can not control the arrangement of these personalities on our own that then we are truly schizophrenic and not at any point sooner. The wolf is Harry and Harry is the wolf and it is OK.

It is when we go out into the world to face our own adventures that we only find our true boon. We can not live any other's life. Some go even as far as to say how ridiculous a concept that we share in Christ's suffering to atone us for some sin that was never ours in the first place. So how could we partake in the redemption of some one else's fall. It is when we step out onto our own path and trip from grace that Christ then helps us up and along our way. As long as we follow the return and share the boon with the others. Like Christ, Buddha, Gandhi, and those who did not die early deaths like Dali, Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams, Thomas Paine, copernicus, and Galileo; these are people who broke social taboos of society just to make their acts the new norm of their societies by the return with the boons they had found on their personal journeys.

For the Supreme God of the higher universe is much like the Princess of Fantasia in The Neverending Story. It is the God of the imagination. It takes delight in our individual life story, that shows him it's creation in all of its different lights and facets. It revels in it's magic mirror that always has another face starring back at it, the more different the better. It is the all time number one movie fan, and the shows on the marquee are each and every life that ever existed.. Now imagine a book store that only sold Shakespeare's Macbeth, or a movie theater that only ran The Green Mile 365 days a year on four screens. Would you keep your interest for long? NO, so be yourself and give the god of the universe a box office slam! So if we do this it would be like giving Yahweh and Sophia a huge Irish grandmother bear hug that lifts them far off their feat and swings them around, for they are just manifestation of our own loneliness and separation that gives rise to all the guilt and fear in the world. Without fear there is no control, or even need for it! Take that mister Bush!