I changed a behavior, but I still have pessimistic moods or thoughts?

"When you begin to worry, you have two options. The first is to fight and resist the obsessions. This option, as you know, increases your distress and intensifies the obsessions, and until now, you have been responding in this way. We encourage you to try a different option: Accept the anxious thought. So even though your ultimate goal is to stop obsessing, the way to best reach that goal is to develop this attitude of acceptance: It's OK that I just had that thought, and it's OK if it returns...."

It's not uncommon for people to continue thinking obsessively about negative thoughts for a while after they've made the decision to change. The problem has been a huge part of your life up until recently, and you're used to dwelling on it. You might think that you're supposed to be "cured" now and that all thoughts of the problem should magically vanish from your head, so when you catch yourself thinking about that it, you get angry and frustrated and shove the thought away.

It also seems to be like white noise. When you are not engaged in conversation, intense thought, a hobby, a good movie, eating, or any other varied activities; your mind gets idle and can listen to subtle voices that prevail under it all. It is like the default radio station in your head. If you can not choose another thing or station to listen to, it pokes its head up. Now to tune it out. Try counting the various colors, including the differences in shades and tints, in the room. If that eventually bores you, look for matching patterns such as shapes or themes in the room. In time you might see a movie you have not watched in a while, a book you have been meaning to read, a picture of some one you like to call. These more complex ideas will replace the simple pattern and color identification you used to block the negative intrusive thoughts.

Foa and Wilson (1991) deal with intrusive thoughts by a combination of giving yourself permission to think about it and exposure/habituation techniques combined with ritual prevention. Exposure refers to repeatedly presenting someone with the situation about which they obsess, and habituation happens when, after much exposure without resulting to usual actions, the person gets used to the situation and it no longer distresses them.

To adapt these techniques, first make yourself safe. If you're in a mind-set in which negative thoughts seems very very likely, it might be better to use distraction techniques to get past that place. Line up a support person whom you can call if you get overwhelmed by this technique. Try to tolerate it for as long as you can, even if you're uncomfortable.

First, designate two 10- or 15-minute time periods daily. Choose times when you will be alone and able to think without being interrupted. To begin, set a timer for the designated amount of time. Then obsess about the negative thought. Think about what it would feel like, how you would feel afterwards, how much you want to do this -- all those thoughts you've been trying to suppress. Get as distressed as you can, and stay focused on the topic of injuring yourself. You may find, especially after the first few times, that you get really bored toward the end of your time period. That's a good sign -- you're becoming habituated.

When the time is up, stop thinking about it. If thoughts come into your mind at other times during the day, acknowledge them and remind yourself that you will think about them later, when it's time. Then let them go. If they come back, repeat the process. Don't shove them away or try to ignore them; just acknowledge, remind yourself they have their time soon, and let go.

After a week or so you will notice an improvement (maybe even after just a few days). One crucial thing: no matter what, do not act on the thoughts . They are just thoughts, and you can use the skills that you used to stop being negative to get through these times. In order for habituation to occur, you have to get through the exposure without resorting to the old behavior. Use distraction and substitution for negative thinking prevention.

The Tea Master and Sorrow

Thank you for coming today. Sit drink some tea with me. It has been a long time since we chatted. No, do not mention it. You are always welcome in my home. We have sat for some time now, but the hour gets late. I need to be some where. I am glad you, Sorrow, have come this day. But it is time for you to get going. Thank you for your company.